Please Don’t Report

Some friends brought to my attention that the sticker on my car Sharon is 1 year and 3 months expired. I was supposed to get a new 2020 sticker back in July. At first it didn’t make sense to me that it was over a year expired because it’s only been a few months.

Looking at that 2018 on the license plate I was trying to explain that if I went to get a new sticker right then it would be a 2019 sticker, because we’re still in the year 2019… It’s numbers, I’m dumb. But I distinctly remember buying a sticker last year, putting it in the glove compartment and telling myself not to forget to put it on later when I got home. I was on lunch break and didn’t want to mess with it because I wanted time to go get pizza or something. So I went to check if the receipt was still in the glove box with the date.

Yes, it was. And so was the 2019 sticker!!!

My other car Aubrey, her sticker expired in October (this month), same as my driver’s license so it was always easy to remember and because I like October. As of right now, I have an up to date sticker for Sharon because I went to get one soon after.

BUT, I also forgot to put that one on too.

Stickers keeping each other company I guess.

My Mature and Responsible Child will be the first to tell you that I shouldn’t have a license to drive. Others are shocked in one way or another that I haven’t had my license revoked.

Let’s not mention I could fill up a scrapbook with all the warnings and tickets. Oops, I just mentioned it. I might as well explain. You know I like talking about my thug life.

The speeding tickets are from “doing 55 in a 54” while driving through small towns. I’m normally a slow driver but one time I didn’t slow down quick enough when the speed limit dropped. Another time I didn’t brake because there was a small hill coming up and that would slow the car down to the appropriate speed, and because Aubrey’s screeching brakes were really annoying.

The warnings were for headlights being out, not making complete stops at stop signs, tail lights doing weird stuff, just little things.

Not a criminal, just lazy.

NOTE: I’m not a Jay-Z fan but that line “doing 55 in a 54” in his song 99 Problems could’ve been my motto.

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