Definitely some kind of crisis.

As a kid I thought midlife was 50 because that’s half of 100 years old but someone later told me it was around your 30s or so. Boring. I’m past that point anyway, so let’s just call this an existential crisis. I am here, and do like to make things extreme and confusing, so why not.

Whatever it is, seems to be doing something positive. I mean like, I’m just so ready to do better things. Like take care of myself like I’ve never really done-EVER. Physically and mentally. I guess that should include emotionally but the only emotion I know is cry. Maybe I’ll work on that later.

I have started to eat better, no chips as a side for every meal. No eating half a bag chips for breakfast. I switched to the baby cans of Coca Cola. I have seriously thought about exercising.

Eat better and probably exercise-or maybe not because that’s going to take a miracle. But I have cut down on chips, for real! I had bags and bags of chips in the cabinet and on the counter because chips go with everything! Like vodka. Kidding.

Is this healing? Is this bringing all the bad things to the surface so they can disappear? What is going on?

But anyway, eat better, sleep earlier, be less lazy, all sound really nice and I feel like now I could do all these things!